Some Advice for Handling Admission Decisions

A college's decision letter does not define, validate or negate who you know yourself to be as a young person.  Seniors would do well to remind themselves, especially this week, that you're no better or worse than anyone else because of where you go to college. 

A colleague I admire puts it this way: "college admission decisions aren't character indictments."  And he's right.  Colleges make admission decisions based on all sorts of reasons.  These institutions' priorities are complex, changing, and largely out of your control.  Having a strong academic resume may only get you through the first part of the review.  Maybe the school needs a goalie for the women's soccer team this year; maybe they need the seemingly always-in-demand bassoon player (seriously, why doesn't anyone play the bassoon?); maybe the school is trying to grow the profile of their theater department; or maybe the basketball team just had a killer year, putting the school on the national radar and bringing in more applications, thus increasing the competition for admission.  Not being offered admission to a college simply means they didn't think your application fit in that particular entering class, based on the qualities the admission office was trying to recruit that year - it's not an indictment of your character. 

Rationally, that all makes sense.  But people tend to be emotional before they're rational.  So if you aren't admitted, come back to what's above when you're ready.  On an emotional level, the reality is that rejection feels awful.  Plain and simple.  It stings.  It hurts.  That's all normal.  But if you let the pain of rejection linger too long, it can turn to bitterness.  Once you've acknowledged the natural sadness you might feel, you have to do your best to let it go and move on.  Among all the complex emotions you feel about graduating and going to college, this really is a time for celebration.  Try and embrace all the positive things happening to mark your completion of high school.  If you feel yourself losing perspective on the other positive things happening as you conclude this chapter of your life, you're always welcome to see your college counselor to talk through it. 

Likewise, celebrate your good news with grace and humility.  You likely weren't the only person who applied to that school that admitted you, and some of your friends may have received different decisions.  Support them in the ways you can.  Be compassionate to how sensitive a time this is for many seniors.  And no matter how excited you might be to take that next step, don't allow yourself to get so wrapped up in what's beyond graduation that you forget to pause and enjoy your last few weeks as a student at HIES.

In short, remember that no college admission decision defines who you are now or the person you might become.  Whether admitted, denied, or waitlisted, support the people around you and take time to enjoy these last moments of high school.  Keep things in perspective and aim to close this chapter of your life the right way; you can't go back and do it over.